I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize