I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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