Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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