she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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