I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
PANTIES FOUND
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
