I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
