Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
vagina is talking i cant
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
