Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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