Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
