We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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