peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
