just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
