question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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