I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
