yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
