All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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