i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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