we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
