Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
