he shaved USA in his pubs
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
