i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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