One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
