Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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