ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
