I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
