No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
