No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
