Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
