i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
