i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
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i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Text me some of your sweat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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