I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
