Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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