Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Pooping to opera.
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