States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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