just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
