I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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