Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
