They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
