how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
