haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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