Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
