I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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