Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
