Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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