So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
