Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
