You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
