how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
