nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.