I hate your face
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They have beer where we have blood.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.