he was CRYING into my vagina
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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