don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
