I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
