I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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