rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
