I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
