Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
