I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
