i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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