So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
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We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize